I Hate It

I hate it that I can’t hate you.
I hate that you don’t answer me when I text you
But I hate it even more when I can’t hide my excitement as I see your name on my phone and that I can’t avoid answering you almost immediately when you take days or even weeks to do so
I hate it that I’m the dependent one
I hate it that I let myself become that person
I hate it that I tell myself that I’ll change
But I hate it even more when you remind me why I could never hate you at all

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