Everything I’m afraid might happen if I text someone first

They won’t answer me.

They won’t see my message.

They will see my message but choose to ignore it.

They will see my message and answer me weeks later when what I said is no longer relevant.

They will answer me with just an emoji and I won’t know how to respond.

They will answer me with a distant tone and I’ll feel bad for texting them in the first place.

They will want to carry on with the conversation but I won’t have anything interesting to say.

I will have something interesting to say but I won’t know how to express it in just a few characters.

I will have to send a voice note.

While I’m recording the voice note I’ll notice that it’s not actually recording and I’ll have to listen to what I sent to know where I stopped recording.

I will hate my recorded voice.

I will have to make sense of what I said so that I can continue my sentence and send a decent voice note.

They won’t hear my voice note.

They will hear my voice note but choose to leave me without an anwer.

They will get bored by our conversation.

I won’t know how to keep the conversation going.

I will forget to reply.


This article was also published on Medium: http://bit.ly/2sG60n4


Inspired by Hallie Cantor’s New Yorker’s article: Everything I am Afraid Might Happen if I Ask New Acquaintances to Get Coffee: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/everything-i-am-afraid-might-happen-if-i-ask-new-acquaintances-to-get-coffee


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